


International Complaint Day

by tokii



Series: 壊れた方 [29]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:36:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokii/pseuds/tokii
Summary: The Bat-Family meet to air their grievances in a humorous roundtable discussion.Tag: Yellow (Fine).
Series: 壊れた方 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542805





	International Complaint Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophisthoe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophisthoe/gifts).

International Complaint Day

Dick: All right, today is international complaint day, and I thought that we could use this as an opportunity to better our relationships with each other. 

Dick folds his hands and smiles. Jason is scraping dirt off the bottom of his boots with a knife. Granted, he has napkins on hand. Damian is hiding in an oversized hoodie – as preteens do – twiddling with his phone. Tim begins to raise his hand with a confused look as Steph rips Damian’s phone from his hand. Damian begins to climb over Jason to attack the fleeing Steph, while Cass sits patiently beside a seriously bothered Duke. Babs looks at Dick, arms crossed. Steph hands Dick the phone.

Dick: Yes, Tim. Would you like to start us o—

Tim: Today is Defender of the Fatherland Day… I don’t know wh—

Babs: Yes, well, all the same. Dick thought this would be a good bonding activity. 

Tim furrows his brows and begins to protest when Stephanie interrupts him, returning to her seat looking rather smug. 

Steph: I’ll start, Dick. 

Dick, mouthing: Thank you.

Steph: I don’t appreciate it when Timothy steals my tampons.

Tim’s mouth drops open and he turns toward her. Jason snorts and Damian begins to chuckle.

Tim: What!? You gave them to us when you went through ‘Survival Training.’

Duke: It’s true. I still had an entire box that I gave to Cass as a Girl’s Day gift.

Cass smiles at Duke who winks in return.

Tim: You said that we had free access to them! I did research, and they’re a mock version of QuikClot for puncture wounds. 

Babs, frowning and pointing a finger: Please do not use tampons to stop bleeding…

Dick gives her a goofy look, and she adds an addendum to her statement.

Babs: Do not use tampons to treat trauma wounds.

Dick: Thanks, Steph. Try and be better, Tim.

Tim is still confused, but Steph hasn’t forgotten their fight from three nights before, hence the humiliation in front of the Bat Crew.

Duke: All right, I’d like to go. I have to say I do not appreciate that Jason is flicking mud onto my new jeans. 

Jason pauses, mid-scrape, and looks up. Duke raises an eyebrow, and Jason gestures toward the napkins. Duke raises his eyebrow a tad higher, and Jason slides the knife onto the table, begrudgingly. He leans back and crosses his arms, eyeing Duke.

Dick: Thank you, Jason. Uh, Damian?

Damian: I will not take part in your manipulative therapy session.

Dick: Ah, well —

Dami: However, I do have to say I do not approve of Barbara’s choice in men.

At this Babs raises her brows, glasses falling to the edge of her nose. Dick looks at her, and back at Damian. Damian is inspecting his fingertip.

Dami: She deserves to be with a real man.

Babs pushes her glasses up and clears her throat. Dick sits back, a little hurt.

Cass: I like Dick.

Steph, grinning: Yes, Cass. We all like Dick.

Cass smiles at Dick, and he nods in return. Chuckles can be heard around the room.

Dick: Anything else, Cass?

Cass: Talk to Bruce, more…

Dick: Who should?

Cass: All.

At that, everyone holds their breath. Half the table looks down at something ‘fascinating,’ while the other half look around accusingly.

Babs: Thank you, Cass, I agree. We should all talk to Bruce more.

She stares at Jason, giving him her look that bores through the soul.

Jason: What? Communication is a two-way street. 

Duke shakes his head, and Damian starts to grin. It’s odd how the two seem to get along.

Jason: Anyways, I _do_ have a complaint.

He sets his chin and looks around the table.

Jason: I don’t like that you all think I’m weak.

Tim and Steph begin to chuckle, and even Cass seems amused.

Dick: Okay, who’s next.

Jason: What! No, wait.

Dick: Babs, got anything you’d —

Damian: It’s okay, Jason. There always needs to be at least one in the family.

Jason begins to flip him off as Dick calls the meeting.

Dick: Okay! This went very well. Thank you everyone for participating.

Jason throws his hands up in the air, scoffing.

Babs: It seems that was a success. Now I have a few UN files to decrypt.

Tim and Steph, simultaneously: Yeah, we have to go.

Duke stands up, and Cass follows.

Jason: No, wait! You guys didn’t even say anything! I whooped Dick’s ass as Batman! I stabbed Tim!

Steph looks back menacingly at Jason, and he realizes that wasn’t a great point to make. Tim feigns an injury, clutching his chest as Steph punches him in disbelief. Jason grabs his knife and continues yelling. Damian jumps onto Dick’s back and puts him in a head-lock, searching for his phone. Alfred walks in, unamused, and dusts the dirt on the tabletop into a rubbish container.


End file.
